Comments on: How to Deal with Unsupportive Friends and Family

By: Elsie

Elsie — Tue, 08 Jun 2021 12:09:41 +0000

I know this is a super old post but wanted to comment anyway. What made me a little sad reading the post and these comments is that many don’t realize that many of the naysayers just don’t want you to go. Period. It stirs up very anxious or uncomfortable feelings in themselves even if it’s just about “change” and not wanting things to change. It can leave loved ones feeling like they are being left behind. It’s a terrible feeling. They are just trying to convince you to stay. Or it makes others feel like their lives are small or they are weak and insignificant. Try to be more compassionate and address those real feelings from your loved ones. As those who aren’t loved ones, their opinions don’t matter anyway.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Fri, 24 Mar 2017 13:38:03 +0000

I love traveling but am married to a homebody. We have 3 kids and I have encouraged my kids to travel. My daughter and I took our firSr solo trip to Europe last summer. We travelled hard. 3 flights to and 3 flights back plus a 4 hour drive to and from the airport. This was her first trip overseas and I didn’t want her to be afraid of gate changes and we had to run to planes and we’ll it was an ordeal that was in constant need of management (air France was in strike at the time too so that was a huge factor in all of it) . She doesn’t really talk about any of that though, just the memories of the people we met and the places we went. My eldest graduated high school and studied in a carer path that will allow him to travel and see the world. I cannot imagine not encouraging my kids to run off and see the world or doing every thing I can to support them. I want for them to know there is more and to see and experience so much more than I did. Of course I want them to settle down and getting married and have kids one day, but today they are young and free so they should fly!

By: Melissa

Melissa — Fri, 17 Feb 2017 22:21:21 +0000

Matt!! You have nailed this one for sure. I have an enormous family, and I literally have two people that support me in my upcoming solo travel. My daughter (that I’m taking backpacking through Europe this summer before my own trip) and my uncle! The rest..yea read above for ALL the things I’ve heard. Glad to know I’m not the only one.
(Sorry I know this is an older post..but a damn good one) Thanks for the tips!

By: Heidi Lee

Heidi Lee — Wed, 25 Jan 2017 03:37:17 +0000

Boy can I relate, as well ! I am getting so much disapproval from my friends and family about my upcoming semi-solo trip, it\’s unbelievable. The only one\’s supporting me are my husband and kids! — My husband had to move to Hong Kong for work a few years ago and lived there for 6 months straight. We got to visit him in the summer, but I was raising the kids all on my own back in the states for 4 months. I even had to sell my yoga studio, because we were unsure if we\’d be staying on in HK longer. It was a great opportunity, and Lord knows he made more than my yoga teacher earnings, so it was the right thing to do; but still difficult to let my studio go. When my husband returned home, he created a home office but continues to leave for week long treks back to HK or London, often. So I have always been here for the kids/household while I worked part time jobs, so he could continue to travel. WELL! We have always travelled to the Caribbean as a family for vacations, for the past 15 years at least… in two weeks I turn 50 yrs old, and a friend who lives there hooked us up in a beachfront flat in St. Croix. The catch is, if we rent it for two months, the price plummets. So two months rent will cost what we\’ve paid for just one week in the past! So my husband suggested I go down Feb 1st, and relax and get away from the winter weater/house and enjoy my birthday with my friends who live on island, and then he and my daughter would meet me there in March. I had saved all my cash tips from bartending last summer just so we could return to St. Croix this winter, and yet the snarky remarks and disapproving comments I am getting from other \’moms\’ are beyond discouraging! While I am there I will actually be doing detective work to see how we could live part time on this Island, which makes my friends and family act even more disapproving and put out! Ugh.. I am mad at myself for letting their remarks steal the excitement and anticipation away from me, because I admit I\’m feeling anxious and guilty about leaving now. I will shake it off, but not entirely… it really cast a shadow on a very sunny opportunity. Thanks for writing this article. I am a woman who\’s always been right here at home with her family ~ now my kids are 16 and 20. Both of them encouraged me to head down a month ahead of them for reflection, and yoga, and educating myself further about life on island. I will remind myself that their opinions are the only ones that matter! Thanks again!

By: Alison

Alison — Wed, 18 Jan 2017 17:47:11 +0000

I moved overseas and was constantly criticized and told I shouldn’t go, just because of their selfishness, and today 17 years later, there is still that resentment, that I have the life I have and they’re stuck in a life that doesn’t move on, even if they say they’re happy, clearly they’re not. They’re not interested in what I do, where I’ve been or what my immediate family members have achieved in their life, its all about what they have, even if clearly in my eyes that’s nothing in comparison.

By: Aaron Roseman

Aaron Roseman — Sat, 03 Dec 2016 20:02:56 +0000

I’m so glad I read this!! I’m 31 and just received my very first passport in the mail one month ago. My first stop in January 2017 (flight has been booked) is Mexico City and I’m going solo. I told my BFF about it because she knows that I’ve never been outside the country and she gives a passive aggressive “good for you” and changes the topic. I’ve come to the realization that I cannot tell her things regarding my traveling. She does not have a passport, but she’s clearly jealous. We used to be a lot closer but I moved to Los Angeles from Ohio (where she lives). I think she’s upset because I’m traveling without her, but that’s not my problem because I don’t owe her anything. She’s never really expressed it’s true desire to travel either. But she has not been supportive not caring to even discuss my trip. I don’t need a big celebration, but I would like for her to stop being petty, jealous with passive aggressive comment and just be happy for me. She needs to get a passport and travel!!!!!

By: Ilona

Ilona — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 04:05:29 +0000

Oh my goodnessssss, thank you soooooooooooooo much for this article, have gotten hit twice this week with people calling me crazy for wanting to teach overseas soon. Your article calmed me down, thank you soooooooooooooooo much for doing what you do. Also, I literally laughed out loud and almost choked on the apple I was eating when I read the part about “hell, I could fall in my apartment and no one might notice for days” ? I actually had this thought recently as I live alone in a studio apartment. It wouldn’t be funny if it happened, but loved the context. Great article! ??

By: kat

kat — Sat, 06 Aug 2016 01:38:19 +0000

Who purchases your travel insurance? From what you say here, you sound as though you are of a class that does not need to worry about money (you sound like a white trustie or suck off my corporate parent type). Would you recommend the same lifestyle for the average person who is uninsured?

Just askin.

By: Mackenzie Kuhlmann

Mackenzie Kuhlmann — Thu, 14 Jul 2016 16:50:54 +0000

Story of my everyday.

Goal in life: surround myself with a tribe of the same vibe. People who encourage the challenge. Travelers who value more than the all inclusive resort has to offer. Adventurers willing to see new places to learn from the world.

The hardest challenge is avoiding negative complacent energy.

This was right on point.

By: Briana

Briana — Mon, 14 Mar 2016 17:58:52 +0000

I’ve gotten used to not having family and friends be fully supportive of my travels – either verbally or by what they don’t say and the questions they ask each other about “what’s going on” and “don’t people disappear all the time there?” and I know people shake their heads and wonder if I’m having an Eat-Pray-Love sort of crisis.

When I was in college, I backpacked solo across Europe without too many comments, except the time I went to Naples and my mom thought I’d get kidnapped by the mafia. 🙂

When I was 27 I quit my job and backpacked solo in Australia with a few side-glances. My boyfriend (now husband)’s family was sure we had broken up and that was the reason I went.

Now this coming June, married, mother to a five year old, I will be traveling solo to Indonesia for a month. You can just imagine what people think. Guess what? I don’t give a fuck. My husband is fully supportive and that’s all that matters.

And I can’t wait to go. I may be using this site to help me decide what to do and how to get around (for the first time I’m not sure how to get from the Jakarta airport to, well, anywhere – Lonely Planet seems to have omitted that tiny detail). But I’m up for the adventure just like when I was younger. I felt most at home when I was in a new place, backpack on, and the open road ahead, and I bet it feels that way again.